I don’t want a lot for Christmas –
stuff the turkey, crackers, tree!
I am on the naughty list, so
Santa won’t stop here for me.
But there is one other guy
who’s got transport that can fly –
it’s a box so blue…
All I want for Christmas is Who!
Once the festive feasting’s over
(can’t eat any more – today!)
wrapping paper’s been recycled,
kitchen chaos cleared away.
Let me sit before the box
with a pile of Christmas chocs –
I’ll enjoy the view.
All I want for Christmas is Who!
On Saturday morning, I’ll be in the queue
filled with anticipation – some nervousness too.
With popcorn to munch on while watching the ads
and hoping and praying it won’t be too bad…
For Star Wars was special, it still reigns supreme
of all childhood memories of cinema screen.
But then Phantom Menace proved true to its name –
the other two prequels were more of the same.
Opening crawls about boring taxation
were only the start of the fans’ indignation.
“No more Jar Jar Binks!” you could hear them all cry –
the whole thing was ruined by bad CGI.
So this time around, I’m not asking a lot –
don’t need dazzling dialogue, intricate plot.
Just spaceships and battles – then, if we’re lucky,
a cameo from our favourite Wookiee!
Should be a safe bet that lightsabers abound –
oh, I’ll sit through a lot for that fabulous sound!
Though I guess its too much to hope that it’s packed
with actors that actually know how to act.
Now, please don’t call me Scrooge –
I know, I’m a ranter –
but I’m taking a stand
against Secret Santa.
I’ve enough plastic tat!
Like the novelty clock,
and a magic 8 ball,
and that comedy cock…
It’s stuff nobody needs,
so I fear it all will
go to charity shops –
or end up as landfill.
Choosing gifts is a chore;
your choices diminish
when the office decides
a fiver’s the limit.
I’d rather go shopping
for gifts which feel just right
for friends – not for strangers
with taste quite unlike mine.
I don’t need a repeat
of the colleague who cried
when I bought him a book
on bunny suicide…
No more Secret Santa!
It will be a relief –
it’s no better to give
than it is to receive.
Ladies Who Don't Have Time For Lunch 