The Boss Has Watched A Webinar…

The Monday morning meeting,
and my heart is filled with dread.
I’ve got a sinking feeling
that fresh madness lies ahead…

For the boss has watched a webinar
and thinks there’s nothing to it.
“It’ll only take an hour.
It’s not hard – you just do it!”

There’s silence round the table.
The whole team seems dismayed.
I stifle a response about
why real experts get paid…

For the boss has watched a webinar
and thinks he knows it all.
Overnight, a master –
if those facts he can recall.

Useless to point out we lack
resources that we need!
A boss of little knowledge
is a dangerous thing indeed…

For the boss has watched a webinar
and knows just what to do –
I think I liked it better when
he didn’t have a clue!

New Year’s Resolution

Every year we do it –
that resolution’s made.
In every office in the land
“We’re going to lose weight!”

But home’s still full of goodies,
leftover Christmas treats –
so bring them into work, of course,
for someone else to eat!

There’s a bag of chocolate Hobnobs
and a Marks & Spencer cake,
some dodgy Jammie Dodgers
and some knock-off After Eights,

loads of Cadbury’s Roses,
a little pot of jam –
there are Amaretti biscuits
and even Parma ham.

Still it keeps on coming!
The kitchen cupboard’s full.
A Quality Street tin goes rogue,
rolls out into the hall.

But sadly our resolve turns out
to be as soft as putty –
by lunchtime every one of us
succumbs to a chip butty!